We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
