just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
