Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
