He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
