theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
