Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize