Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
