I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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