Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My legs feel like baby dolphins
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
