made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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