no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
