its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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