Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
