we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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