That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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