Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
