So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
