You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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