So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
