Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
