Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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