there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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