their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I love black thongs
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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