I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
