Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
