We're like a lot better than the average bears
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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