I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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