Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
