exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
