I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
