yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
