is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
