do herpes really smell.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Last time i carry you out of a forest
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
