so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
