Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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