I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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