Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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