Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize