just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
