I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
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