I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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