Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My vagina just clenched in fear
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
