youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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