Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
