Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
