Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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