two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize