I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
How's work?
Spinning.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
