8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
