So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
