she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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