Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
