Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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