Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
i out mim tonsoeep
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
