Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
