Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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