Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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