i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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