You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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